So I just wanna preface this with the fact that I wasn't the player who brought up any discomfort at the way you worded that CR meme to the mods, but I am a player in the game who was a little uncomfortable with the comment in question. I didn't want to say anything in the plurk you posted because plurk isn't a great place for long discussions sometimes, and I do like you as a person and I know you weren't actively trying to be offensive (orientation play is a kink after all!).
But I don't think it's fair of you to call out the mods for what they did. If a player came to them anonymously with an issue, it stands to reason that they have a reason for not approaching you directly. I'll admit, after reading that plurk, I don't feel like bringing the issue to you directly would actually solve anything. Even though you admitted you can see where people would misinterpret what you meant because of how you worded it, you don't really sound like you're accepting that you were at fault at all, and are turning the blame over to the mods instead. It's perfectly reasonable for mods to go to players when other players express discomfort. There's no need to shoot the messenger, you know?
I don't want you to feel bad about it, since everyone makes mistakes and gets misinterpreted once in a while. It's the internet, and tone can be really hard to read. But even if it wasn't your intent to be offensive, you shouldn't brush off the fact that some people were offended, and then blame them for it. It'll just make people less inclined to come talk to you about issues in the future. ):
There are two different issues here so I'll break it down real quick:
1.) I already acknowledged in a few plurks and to the mod that I understand where someone might have interpreted what I said as implying that sexuality wasn't fluid/was something that required forcible change and I apologized for the misunderstanding.
2.) The handling of the complaint in question. No effort was made to enforce the rule of communication between players. The mod also came in with the attitude that I was already guilty of wrongdoing and they had sided with the two complainants.
Conflict resolution is extremely important as a mod, and giving feedback on how to improve this process by staying consistent with best practices set by Grim (the last mod) is totally acceptable and hardly 'shooting the messenger'.
I appreciate that you've taken the time to express your concerns and feelings. I have no intention of making anyone feel uncomfortable, but offering concrit is not a sign of disrespect no more than your courteously written concrit here.
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carisma_sensei
no subject
Date: 2015-10-10 04:52 pm (UTC)So I just wanna preface this with the fact that I wasn't the player who brought up any discomfort at the way you worded that CR meme to the mods, but I am a player in the game who was a little uncomfortable with the comment in question. I didn't want to say anything in the plurk you posted because plurk isn't a great place for long discussions sometimes, and I do like you as a person and I know you weren't actively trying to be offensive (orientation play is a kink after all!).
But I don't think it's fair of you to call out the mods for what they did. If a player came to them anonymously with an issue, it stands to reason that they have a reason for not approaching you directly. I'll admit, after reading that plurk, I don't feel like bringing the issue to you directly would actually solve anything. Even though you admitted you can see where people would misinterpret what you meant because of how you worded it, you don't really sound like you're accepting that you were at fault at all, and are turning the blame over to the mods instead. It's perfectly reasonable for mods to go to players when other players express discomfort. There's no need to shoot the messenger, you know?
I don't want you to feel bad about it, since everyone makes mistakes and gets misinterpreted once in a while. It's the internet, and tone can be really hard to read. But even if it wasn't your intent to be offensive, you shouldn't brush off the fact that some people were offended, and then blame them for it. It'll just make people less inclined to come talk to you about issues in the future. ):
no subject
Date: 2015-10-10 05:23 pm (UTC)There are two different issues here so I'll break it down real quick:
1.) I already acknowledged in a few plurks and to the mod that I understand where someone might have interpreted what I said as implying that sexuality wasn't fluid/was something that required forcible change and I apologized for the misunderstanding.
2.) The handling of the complaint in question. No effort was made to enforce the rule of communication between players. The mod also came in with the attitude that I was already guilty of wrongdoing and they had sided with the two complainants.
Conflict resolution is extremely important as a mod, and giving feedback on how to improve this process by staying consistent with best practices set by Grim (the last mod) is totally acceptable and hardly 'shooting the messenger'.
I appreciate that you've taken the time to express your concerns and feelings. I have no intention of making anyone feel uncomfortable, but offering concrit is not a sign of disrespect no more than your courteously written concrit here.
Saudade